2008 Student of the Year

Scott Smith

IT'S NOT ABOUT ME

I am no different than many husbands, fathers out there. I allowed myself to fall into the abyss of lethargy. This left me at 245 pounds and miserable. I had so many things that were going well in my life, yet I had allowed myself to get to a point that I had sworn so many times before that I would never reach.  As I looked in the mirror the year following my son’s birth, I saw the same flocculent body that I had promised myself not to incur. Thankfully for me, my wife has been with me throughout and has always been a source of inspiration. She always tried to make me feel good about myself regardless of my physical appearance. I stepped back and looked at my life. I have the best wife a man could ask for. She has given me the most precious thing in my life, my son Benjamin. They deserved better from me. They deserve for me to be around for as long as I can. They deserved to be proud of me, proud of my appearance, stable in knowing that my health would not be an issue. Stacy has always taken great care of herself and has always been healthy. I began to really worry about my mortality. It seemed as though a day could not pass without me thinking about the “what ifs.”

     That leads me to where I began at the Dojo. I obviously had been around the people of the Dojo for several years. I enjoyed seeing Stacy’s passion for what she was doing, yet did not always understand her dedication.  From an outsider’s viewpoint, I questioned Sensei’s methods and approach. Brian often says that I hated him. I did not hate him, but I definitely did not understand him. I don’t know how much of that has changed, but I do have a respect for him and his art. When the opportunity to join the Dojo was presented to me, I had many reservations. Would my ego and Sensei’s be able to coexist? Would this really help me? Could I follow through with the admission that I needed to do something to change my life?  These are all dilemmas that would soon be answered. The first class, Sensei and I spent much of the time talking. I believe that Sensei had as many questions about how this relationship would be forged as I did. Although much of his delivery had not changed, some of his message had.  I could sense a desire in him to take what I was willing to give and help me produce. This was what I was looking for.  I took away from our conversation that if I could strip away any of my preconceived notions about our relationship and concentrate on the work, I would be fine. That is what I have attempted to do.

     The last two years, I have tried to leave as much of myself in the Dojo as I could. (Primarily in the form of sweat)  I have seen results and am proud of what I have achieved, however I am far from where I want to be. I still have many things that I need to amend about my life to assure health and happiness. Often people perceive exercise and fitness as an endless pursuit in vanity. In some cases this may be true. In my case (although I love the changes in my appearance) it is a pursuit to make those I hold dear as comfortable with their future as I can. I understand now the humility, patience, and effort that are required in order to reach these goals. It is my hope that I can continue to strive for the best and improve myself now and in the future. 

W.Scott Smith